Written by Mrs. Elizabeth Badejo
I was with a group of young bachelors recently and we were having a very interesting conversation on relationship and marriage today. While I was advocating the importance of the institution and all the fulfilments within, a good number of them were not very excited to listen to my support for this traditional institution.
Some took me on a spin on their experiences as children caught between the frails of broken homes as a result of their parents’ marital inadequacies...
Unrealistic perception
It was a very engaging session with these lads but in the end, I discovered that many have been wounded within. They had been disheartened by the system that nurtured their growth and survival into adulthood.
Their perception of marriage as a blissful affair has been totally shattered by various experiences. On the other hand, I also began to wonder why some perceptions were superficial and the danger of such ignorance which may have formed some of their marital choices today.
Unhappiness is not an affliction
Marriage comes with many condemnations when expectations are either too high to achieve or just absolutely unrealistic and when your marriage is only built on the gains alone without adequate preparations for the pains, you will not only feel disappointed but also inflict the pains on those around you, especially your children.
Unhappiness is certainly inevitable in marriage, this is one aspect many couples misunderstand as they are not able to support each other through the process.
The innocent victims
On the other hand, the children within the marriage can be mostly affected as only a healthy marriage simply produces healthy children and that is certainly not negotiable. The genesis of some of the behavioural problems of some men in marriages today can be linked to their experiences as children within an abusive marriage.
Some may also find it difficult to settle down in their own respective marriages and history may repeat itself in extreme cases. It is therefore the responsibility of every good parents to understand the importance of planning for the downside of marriage and able to manage the crisis when it comes.
Optimistic memory
The reality is that many great marriages that radiate true love are often orchestrated by divine commitments from both couple who have decided to weather the storms together.
Often times, all that holds a marriage together is the belief in the commitment you and your spouse share and your dedication to your marriage as a whole.
When you understand the significance of optimism and loving attitude as a couple from the outset and not allow the gloom times take over the good times, you are unquestionably going to leave a great legacy for your children and generations to come.
